Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Beware: It is the Ides of March

Happy Ides of March! Whether you are new to this exciting (non)holiday or you have been honoring it for years, we have put together a few ways for you to BEWARE on this March 15th.

5 ways to celebrate the IDES OF MARCH:

1.) Read Julius Caesar.

2.) If you don’t have time to read the whole play, then enjoy this three-panel Shakespeare from Goodticklebrain.com.


3.) Use some of Shakespeare’s invented words.
Below are five of the thousands of words and phrases coined by Shakespeare:

ASSASSINATION: MACBETH, ACT I, SCENE 7
“If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere well it were done quickly: if the assassination could trammel up the consequence, and catch with his surcease success.” – Macbeth

Macbeth 2016
BEDAZZLED: The Taming of the Shrew, Act IV, Scene 5
“Pardon, old father, my mistaking eyes, that have been so bedazzled with the sun that everything I look on seemeth green.” – Katherina
The Taming of the Shrew 2016
COLD-BLOODED: King John, Act III, Scene 1
“Thou cold-blooded slave, hast thou not spoke like thunder on my side, been sworn my soldier, bidding me depend upon thy stars, thy fortune and thy strength, and dost thou now fall over to my foes?”

SCUFFLE: Antony and Cleopatra, Act I, Scene 1
“His captain's heart, which in the scuffles of great fights hath burst the buckles on his breast, reneges all temper, and is become the bellows and the fan to cool a gypsy's lust.”
Antony and Cleopatra 2006
SWAGGER: A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene 1
“What hempen home-spuns have we swaggering here, so near the cradle of the fairy queen?” 
A Midsummer Night's Dream with OSA 2017

4.) Drink an Orange Julius

                 How To Make an Orange Julius
                 (Makes 2 drinks)

                 Ingredients:
                 1 cup milk (any dairy or unsweetened, non-dairy milk)
                 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
                 1 6-ounce can frozen orange juice concentrate
                 1/2 cup sugar (or sugar substitutes)
                 1 1/2 cups ice
                 Equipment:
                 Blender
                 Glasses
                 Instructions:
                 1. Pour the milk and vanilla in a blender. 
                 2. Add the frozen orange juice concentrate. Blend.
                 3. Add the sugar and ice cubes: Blend until thickened.
                 4. Pour, raise a glass to Julius Caesar, and enjoy.


5.) Enjoy this delightfully funny adaptation, Orange Julius/Caesar’s Errors
Written by Artistic Director, Vincent Carlson-Brown, for Nebraska Shakespeare’s 2012 Annual Fundraiser. (Original Cast: Russell Daniels, Gage Wallace, Anna Jordan, Dan Chevalier, and Sarah Carlson-Brown)

{Orange Julius} Caesar’s Errors

ACT ONE

Caesar and 2 ‘trunk slaves’ enter; the slaves are carrying a large chest in which are stored props and costumes for the play.

Voiceover:       Upon the Next!  Whence last our hero was bereft:  Gaius Julius Caesar, Caesar of the Julii, Descendant of the Trojan Prince Aeneas, of the goddess Venus, Conqueror of Gaul, Invader of Brittany, Bridge-Builder on the Rhine, Mantle of Power, Military Tribune, Golden Eagle of Rome, Standard of Might and Righteousness, Nightmare of Pompey Magnus, Lover of Cleopatra, Elephant Killer, Vampire Hunter, Redistribution Manager of Public Lands, Repairer of Diverse Aqueducts, Forbear of Modern Haircuts, Vacationer of Greece, Macedonia, and the Gang-Ridden Streets of the South-Central Carolinas; Your Dictator for Life and Mine: Julius Caesar was last seen eating a chicken sandwich, no mayonnaise, pickles on the side.

Caesar is crying while eating a chicken sandwich.  
The 2 ‘trunk-slaves’ fan him as he sings Adele’s Someone Like You:

Caesar:          Nevermind, I’ll find someone like you!
                      I wish nothing but the best for you too!
                      ‘Don’t forget me,’ I begged, I remember, you said:
                      ‘Sometimes it lasts in Rome,
                       Sometimes you’re stabbed in the back by your friends instead!
                       Sometimes you’re stabbed in the back by your friends instead!’

Caesar:           Let me have some men about me that are fat.

The two slaves grab pillows from the trunk and stuff them in their shirts.

One:                Here we are.

Two:               Fat as a fatty.

One:                Fatty Fat Fat are we!

Two:               Fatz Waller!

A Soothsayer enters with spooky ghost hands and crazy eyes.  
He clanks three glass bottles together periodically.  
Perhaps he has Jacob Marley’s chains about him.

Caesar:            Yond fellow has a lean and hungry look.  Such men are dangerous.

One:                Fear him not.

Two:               He just thinks too much.

One:                Noble Roman.

Two:               Well given, really.

Caesar:            (explosion) Would that he were fatter!

One:                Eat up son!

Two:               (tossing a sandwich) Have a bite, yes?  Fatten up!

Soothsayer:     (exiting) Beware the Ides of March!

Caesar:            What man is that?

One:                A soothsayer bids you ‘Beware the Ides of March.’

Two:               Ides of March?

One:                Did he mean Ideas?

Two:               Beware the Ideas of March?

One:                Nothing good happens in March.

Two:               March!  It’s ridiculous!

One:                March! Madness!

Two:               What did you do last March?

One:                Ideas-wise?

Two:               Alright then, what did you think on, in March?

One:                In March?  This year?

Two:               Odes of March.

One:                Maybe he meant Odes.

Two:               ‘Beware the Odes of March!’

One:                Odes TO March.

Two:               Odes to JOY.

One:                No, it’s Ode to Joy. 

Two:               Just one Ode?

One:                That’s right.

Two:               What is an Ode?

One:                A song.

Two:               Ah! Beware singing in March.

One:               Beware singing while you march!

Two:               Right! Like Drinking and Talking!

One:               Or Chewing gum and Walking!

Two:               Or Crying while Eating!

One:               Yes, Yes.  Beware the double activity.

Two:               That’s it.

One:                Must be.

Two:               You’ve got it.

One:                I always do.

Two:               Beware the . . .

One:                Beware the Double Action!

Two:               Beware the Double Action!

One:                Yes!

Two:               Namely Song-Writing and Marching!

One:                Brilliant!

Caesar:            Calphurnia!

One:                Peace, ho!  Caesar speaks!

Caesar:            Calphurnia!  Caaaaaal!

Two:               We’re in trouble now.

One:                It’s all your fault.

Two:               My fault?  I didn’t say anything.

One:                Crying while eating?

Two:               Oh that.

Caesar:            Caaaaal!

One:                Your fault.

Two:               The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in . . .

One:                What’s that?

Two:               The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars but in . . .

Actor brings out a big placard that says:  ‘OURSELVES’.

One:                (to audience)  A little help here?

Two:               The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars but in -

One:                (prompting audience)  Ourselves!

Two:               Well then.  It’s all Greek to me.

Caesar:            Calphurnia!

TUNE IN NEXT IDES OF MARCH FOR THE CONTINUING STORY OF 
CAESAR'S ERRORS...

FINALLY, if celebrating the Ides of March isn’t your cup of chilled citrus beverage, then celebrate any one of these National March 15th Holidays:
National Brutus Day
Dumbstruck Day
Everything You Think is Wrong Day (Isn't that everyday?)

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